In today’s world, we all want and aspire to be successful – the awards, the undefeated season, the promotion. I find it highly unusual that we don’t openly talk about failing as often, nor do we study it, embrace it and really learn from it. It’s even hard to say out loud to others when you are failing but yet we all do it every single day. In most cases, failing is or can be viewed as a weakness but I prefer it to be a strength. After all, we gain more wisdom from failing than we do from our successes.

I have played the goaltender position since I was 7 years old and was fortunate to have played at the University of Minnesota as their hockey goalie from 1989-1993 (see pictures below). Goalie is the position where your failing is on full display. There is no way around it. Your mistakes are cheered and even welcomed. Your teammates will even look at you weird when have a really, big fail. I have failed in front of thousands of spectators and probably hundreds of thousands on TV, then only to have it written in a newspaper following day. My fails, albeit the athletic ones, were on full display.

The expectations of following a historic season (which included All American and Hobey Baker winner Robb Stauber) by going back to the National Title game was a daunting task. I was only 18 years old and needed to live up to the standards of the program, which didn’t allow for much failing, but rather continued success. As I started my first few games, success was hard to come by but there sure was a lot failing. I felt overwhelmed by the level of play, the amount of pressure and expectations to perform at an All American level which is dang near impossible at 18 years old. It really was a sink or swim moment for me. If I wanted to be a starting goalie, I had to figure it out and adapt otherwise I could be viewed as not capable and could ride the pine the rest of my career. I needed to prove to my coaches and teammates that I had the ability and skills to play at the D1 level even though the results were not there. Truth be told I also had self-doubt as well. Am I really good enough? Can I do this? Can I handle the pressure to what’s been given to me? I kept pushing and channeling a positive mindset using anything I could to build off any form of success.

That daunting experience early in my athletic career was my “aha” moment in applying failing as a learning process. Crappy goal, losing big games and anything in between all fell into this failing process. Nothing was a failure but a learning opportunity to be better. As you fail, you need to have the appropriate mindset of being positive.

In looking at Failing as a process through my experiences, some key components are:

1. Accountability – To improve/learn, you need look at what you can do better. If it’s always something else or someone else for failing then you’re not owning your end. Control your controllables and improve. This is so critical especially when working on a team.
2. Implementing a change – This might seem obvious but in failing there needs to be a change and you have drive to change. This should not be a rinse and repeat but rather implementing something within your control with the hopes of obtaining a better result/outcome.
3. Result- To have something fail, an event needs to happen leading to a result. There is no “trying” to get a result. There needs to be an action from which you can get a result. “Trying” or not making a decision is a fail in itself.
4. Detaching your identity- I believe this is a big one and really fine-tuned my thinking playing goalie. We tend align ourselves to success but not to failing. We put self worth around what we accomplish so it’s tough to allow yourself to fail. I like to think of it as a champions mindset. Your gaining experience even when your failing and it has nothing to do with your self-identity and worth. I could care less about failing. What really matters is how you respond to failing.
5. Fail Fast- I know this is applicable in the Agile setting. If the goal is to improve, then it makes sense to move faster to get the desired result. Same rules apply in life and work.

In looking at my business career and personal life, this process of failing has been extremely instrumental in my growth and success. I have never really verbalized it but I know people see it. I realize it can even get to the point of being annoying to others around me both at work and home. It’s so engrained in my thinking that it’s hard to accept failure. After all, failure is a defined state, it’s an end. Failing is the process that is never ending which means there is always the potential of a better outcome.

How do you handle your fails?

Does your failing lead to growth in either personal and professional development?

Project Management Institute – PDD 2022

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